The Quantum Problem
by tlgdenco
Summary: The Eleventh Doctor is dumbfounded when the Earth is hit with an influx of Random Quantum Teleportation. As the phenomenon increases can he solve the mystery before its too late? [Feedback & input is welcome]
1. Chapter 1

The door of the TARDIS closed heavily behind them as the Doctor and Clara skipped excitedly toward the center console. The Doctor grinned broadly as he flipped his flowing brown hair from his eyes.

"I told you that Goethe was quite the party animal! Not just some stuffy poet, as you were so convinced," the Doctor exclaimed, giggling uncontrollably as he threw several of the TARDIS' levers and adjusted a few dials. Stopping suddenly he shuddered, adding, "I hope he was kidding about adding sex scenes to The Venetian Epigrams." He shook his head, running his fingers through his hair.

Clara laughed as she leaned against the console across from him, "He wasn't the only one having a grand ol' time." She reached into her pocket jacket tossing a banana in his direction.

He snatched the fruit from the air examining it before grinning in her direction. She stared back at him, her head cocked slightly to one side, an eyebrow raised in question.

"Well…?" he paused momentarily barely able to contain his excitement, "where do you want to go next?"

Clara shrugged nonchalantly, "surprise me."

Snapping, the Doctor smiled, pointing his finger in her direction, "I haven't taken you to Metebelis III yet, have I? Oh it is beautiful! The moon bathes the entire planet in blue… The wildlife's a bit dodgy though, really hoping they've finally gotten those spiders under control..." He threw a final level and the TARDIS began to moan.

"Spiders?"

"Well, technically they call themselves The Eight Legs… They're descendant from spiders. Well… Descendant, mutated… Same thing really. Tried to kill me once! Well not me, but me… An earlier me… Oh the memories."

"I don't do spiders. And definitely not murderous ones!"

"It'll be fine! Trust me!" he insisted clapping his hands together in excitement.

It wasn't long before the TARDIS finally landed; Clara made her way hesitantly toward the door.

"I swear to God, if I open this door to find a spider I'm never talking to you again!" the Doctor scoffed at the notion, as he leaned arrogantly against the console motioning her toward the door.

Clara hesitated slightly before pulling the door open and sticking her head through the narrow gap. She glanced around nervously before pulling the door open and making her way out into the bright midday sun. After a brief moment the stuck her head back through the door.

"Uh, you better come take a look at this."

"Oh I've seen it," he started, rising and adjusting his bowtie before making his way toward the door, "it's brilliant! One day it will be a galactic-wide destination, but that won't happen for at least another three or four hundred years."

"Yeah… Galactic wide, whatever…"

"Again with the questioning?" he asked stepping through the doorway, never breaking eye contact with Clara. "The forests and gem fields of this planet are legendary, they remind me of… London?" What had been a confident smile became one of confusion.

"That can't be right," he scratched his head. He turned his focus back toward the TARDIS. "Why have you brought us here?" he muttered under his breath biting a fingernail as he thought.

"I don't mind," Clara chirped, "let's grab some chips and figure it out after?"

"Right! Brilliant! I love chips! Chips, chips, chips…" The Doctor spun around wildly, and preceded to march past Clara and down the block. He walked purposefully, his hands tucked behind his back and bent over slightly at the waist.

Clara hurried to catch up, skipping occasionally as they made their way down the street. "You know, I honestly don't mind making a pit stop here every now and then…" she ventured after a few moments.

"Ah yes… The joys of London… You British running around all day with your pit bulls, afternoon tea, rain or fog, cries of 'Balderdash!' or 'Cheerio!'" the Doctor mimed a posh gentleman as best he could.

"Hey! We're not all like that!" Clara interrupted, hitting the Doctor firmly in the arm. He smiled coyly in her direction.

"I suppose not…" He thought for a moment, before suddenly stopping before a small cluttered newsstand. He grabbed one of the several papers off the rack examining the front page closely. "I knew it! A Saturday! We managed to land on a Saturday," he glanced over his shoulder at Clara who struggled to read the paper, "They're my favorite you know? Better than Wednesdays or Thursdays… Saturday July 23rd, 2016. Ooooh what a year this one turns out to be!" He taunted Clara slightly, before tucking the paper meticulously back into its rack, smiling at the proprietor behind the counter.

They continued to make their way down the street when suddenly a woman's shriek filled the air. Without hesitation the two quickly began to run down the lane in the direction of the cry.

They didn't have to run far to find a woman wailing hysterically out front of one of the lane's many street side cafés. She stood before her table motioning toward an empty chair. There was a spilled cup of tea and a half finished crumpet sitting before the seat.

"My husband! My husband," she cried out repeatedly in a shrill voice. "He's gone! He's disappeared!"

The Doctor pulled a pair of round spectacles from his jacket pocket, placing them squarely on the bridge of his prominent nose. He quickly made his way around the table examining each detail.

"Disappeared? Could you explain a little more?" Clara repeated trying to make sense of the situation.

The Doctor grabbed the cloth napkin sitting in the chair. He examined it then dropped it, watching as it fell back into place. Next he dipped his middle finger into the pool of spilled tea. Taking a quick sniff he tasted it.

"Earl Grey, and a blueberry scone…"

"Crumpet," Clara quickly corrected.

"There's a difference?" he grabbed the pastry taking a bite, "can't taste it… You're sure?"

Clara shrugged. "Trust," she reminded him politely. A large grin crept across his lips, and he waved his finger in her direction.

Without a word the Doctor pulled he sonic screwdriver from his pocket and pointed it toward the empty chair. After a moment he flicked his wrist to examine the results.

"Nothing," he mumbled under his breath before tucking the device securely back into his jacket pocket.

It was at about that moment that a large black SUV pulled up alongside the café. A large blue light flashed from the dashboard. From the back seat of the vehicle Kate Stewart emerged.

"Doctor!" she called, "we've been expecting you. Pleasure to see you again, although I wish it were under more pleasant circumstances." She extended her hand in his direction as a means of exchanging pleasantries.

"Kate Lethbridge-Stewart," the Doctor nodded toward her, ignoring her desire for a handshake, "it's been awhile. You remember Clara." He motioned toward his companion. "Clara, Kate. Kate, Clara…"

"Hello," Clara cooed with a slight wave toward the rather official looking woman. Kate nodded in her direction.

"Now you said you've been expecting me, why? What brings U.N.I.T. here? What do you all know?" The Doctor poked out a long boney finger, bopping the woman square on the nose before leaning back and crossing his arms, intently listening.

Kate took a deep breath trying to collect herself after the Doctor's rather unusual greeting. Sighing, she briefly surveyed the scene. "Well we've had a number of mysterious disappearances over the last several weeks. At first we weren't sure exactly what was happening, though now our scientists have an admittedly 'fantastic' theory," she stressed the word.

"Theory? That's the problem with you humans… Always throwing around theories… Well, what is it? This idea of yours?"

Kate was clearly not amused by the Doctor's tone, though she continued. "Random Quantum Teleportation… An object dematerializes on a quantum level and instantly reappears somewhere else in the universe."

The Doctor let out a laugh. "Oh, infant science! It's so cute how they keep trying to solve the puzzle of the universe. But you know as well as I do, that explanation is impossible!" he responded, "the length of time needed for that to occur randomly, even just once, is astronomical… Longer than the universe has existed."

"Trust me, I know! But we're fairly certain that this is exactly what's happening, and what's more disturbing is that is has happened multiple times and with increasing frequency."

"How? How can you be certain?" he studied the woman intently, glancing briefly in Clara's direction.

"There was a survivor. One of the people to disappear reappeared in Cardiff."

"Well I guess that's better than Swansea," the Doctor interrupted, snickering at his own wit. Clara let out a subtle laugh, but immediately realized the inappropriateness of such a thing, and covered her mouth with her hand. Kate frowned, crossing her arms in annoyance. She paused for a moment, ensuring she refocused the Doctor's attention back to herself.

"Yes well, moving on, he reappeared in a field outside of Cardiff. No memory of the event. Obviously he was confused and disoriented, we observed him for several days in U.N.I.T.'s medical facility. His account of what happened led to our scientists to the theory of Random Quantum Teleportation."

"Well then I suggest you hire new scientists. According to the math, for even one quantum teleportation to occur would require more time to have passed than the universe is old. Additionally to have multiple 'random' teleportations in such close proximity to one another would be utterly impossible." The Doctor tucked his glasses into his coat pocket, before running his fingers through his hair, a habit he had of doing when he thought he looked cool.

"Nonetheless I think you should come with us," Kate responded tersely without acknowledging the Doctor's statements. She turned abruptly and made her way back to the SUV. Without even looking back she snapped her fingers toward the two who jumped, quickly making their way toward the vehicle.


	2. Chapter 2

The large black vehicle slowed in front of a large office building near London's city center. The building was relatively ordinary without any real distinguishing characteristics.

"No longer in the Tower of London I see," the Doctor mused as he climbed from the vehicle and onto the busy downtown sidewalk.

"We have many facilities in and around London. This one happens to be our primary scientific research lab," Kate responded without glancing over her shoulder. She made her way toward the front entrance.

"Did I ever get my desk? And what about that report I asked to have in triplicate?" the Doctor skipped ahead, playfully nudging Kate with his shoulder. She ignored the nudge and quickened the group's pace through the lobby.

Flashing her identification card they were escorted by one of the many security officers to a bank of elevators. There she scanned the access card, triggering a rather pleasant 'ding'.

"Fancy," the Doctor observed smiling coyly, rocking back and forth from his toes to his heals. His hands folded neatly behind his back. "Do I get one of those special little cards?"

Kate glared at the doctor out of the corner of her eye. "People are dead Doctor, it'd be nice if you could take this seriously and stop acting like a child!" Her tone was both agitated and stern.

The Doctor turned toward the woman, his smile having disappeared. He leaned in closely. Whispering he replied, "Kate Lethbridge-Stewart… Two things your father should have told you about me. 1) I'll never grow up and 2) I have a time machine, no one is dead unless I say." He raised his brows slightly exaggerating his point. The elevator dinged, breaking the moment of awkward silence.

When the elevator doors opened the group exited into a large subterranean laboratory. Several scientists were gathered around different projects and white boards, each wore a white overcoat bearing the unmistakable logo of U.N.I.T.

The Doctor wandered over to table where a chemistry experiment was being conducted. He took a few moments to inspect the work and watch a blue chemical boil. He grabbed an empty beaker, inspecting it carefully before holding it up to his eye and peering through it.

He was startled when someone cleared their voice from behind him. He turned to face them, never lowering the glass from his eye.

"Hello! I'm the Doctor, who are you?"

The man frowned. "Can I help you 'Doctor'," he said emphasizing the word, "I am fairly busy with my experiments, as I'm sure you've noticed."

"Well aside from not answering my question, I guess I don't much need your help, but thanks for offering," the Doctor replied finally lowering the beaker from his face, "though if you could tell me where to get one of those nifty white coats, I'd be indebted." He brushed the shoulders of the man's coat with his free hand before finally straightening the long garment.

"I'm sorry, who are you? Doctor who?" the man inquired pushing past the Doctor and toward his experiment.

"Ahh, see… I asked you first," the Doctor retorted, following the man and watching him work carefully from over his shoulder. The man feigned an attempt at ignoring the Doctor but soon became outwardly frustrated with his being watched.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," the Doctor mused at the scientist's work. "That's highly reactive…" The scientist cut him off, throwing his hand up in front of the Doctor's face and clearing his throat obnoxiously.

Hurriedly the Doctor scurried back to Kate and Clara. Glancing over his shoulder he whispered, "We should probably head to another room or at least grab a chair over on the other side of this one… And ear protection. Do you have any ear protection?" He pointed knowingly toward the chemist he had just left.

"Why? What's going to happen?" Kate demanded to know.

"If we stay here for, oh I don't know," he checked his watch, "another thirty or forty-five seconds, you'll see." He quickly took cover behind Kate, plugging both ears with his fingers. Clara noticing did the same.

"Doctor, that man is a world-renown chemist. I don't think…"

"Yes, but… He's not playing with chemicals of this world," the Doctor interrupted.

"Nevertheless I am more than confident…"

Her sentence was cut short by a violent boom, as smoke rapidly began to fill the room. Alarms in every direction wailed, while emergency lights tried to cut through the thick white cloud.

"Is he alright?!," Kate screamed, not realizing how loudly she was yelling.

Straightening up the Doctor tugged at his jacket slightly and straightened his tie. "Oh he's fine. Really its bark is worse than its bite. Mostly just a loud boom," he gesticulated with his hands, "and a lot of smoke. No real harm done. Mind you he might have ringing in his ears for the next few days."

"What?!" Kate called out at the Doctor who brushed her off with a wave of his hand.

He walked over to where the scientist stood stunned, looking down at his beakers, Bunsen burners, and assorted tools. He patted the man on the back, shaking his head in his usual 'I told you so' manner. He picked up one of the several still empty beakers.

"Next time try not to do that," he said with a wink before sauntering off to rejoin Kate and Clara, flipping his newly acquired beaker in the air casually as he walked.

Kate led the group through the lone doorway, and down a narrow hallway. Occasionally as they walked Kate found herself trying to soften the ringing in her ears.

When they finally arrived at another of the large rooms, the trio was greeted by a rather large group of scientists. The men enthusiastically made their way toward the entrance from one of the white boards, which was covered in several complex mathematical calculations they had been brainstorming together on.

Kate took a moment to introduce the group of scientists, still not realizing she was yelling due to the ringing in her ears. "Doctor this is our team of physicists, both practical and theoretical. They have been hard at work trying to understand and isolate why these random teleportations are occurring, as well as understand why these teleportations are happening to these particular multiple individuals."

Walking toward the board filled with equations, the Doctor scratched his head. He stood before the math, mentally tallying figures, drawing different lines in the air with his finger, and trying to comprehend what theory the scientists were working on.

"Really boys?" the Doctor said without turning his gaze from the cluttered board. "You're missing the point entirely! You forgot to carry a one in this equation, you've missed the universal constant over here, and you haven't even accounted for the inverse of the cosine for the background radiation of the Universe… This work is all worthless! I'd recommend you step outside, get some fresh air and tackle this again in a few minutes…"

The Doctor turned glaring at the scientists who stood in awe at his reasoning. Several scribbled notes, while others exasperatedly tried to protest what the Doctor had just pointed out. Before they knew what was happening the Doctor began to escort them all out of the room.

Clara stepped toward the board waiting for the Doctor to return. When he did they both stood looking at the equations on the board.

"So… They forgot to carry a one," Clara began skeptically, "and something about an inverse of a cosine…"

"Oh, yeah that… That was absolute rubbish," the Doctor conceded flailing his hands in frustration, "I just needed to buy myself a little more time. This whole situation is making less and less sense the more I think about it." The Doctor tapped his fingers against his chin deep in thought.

After a moment he shrugged and made his was to one of the many abandoned tables, where a chemistry set had long been left to gather dust. He fiddled with the beakers and Bunsen burners before turning Clara.

"You wouldn't mind doing me a favor would you?" he asked apologetically. "Could you find Kate and ask her if U.N.I.T. still has Bessie tucked away somewhere?"

"Bessie? Who's Bessie?"

"Not who! What?!" the Doctor excitedly corrected, tossing the beaker he had stolen from the chemist earlier into the air.

Though Clara desired a better answer than that, she had become accustomed to the Doctor's ambiguity. As had become habit recently, she shrugged and made her way toward the door.

When Clara returned she found the Doctor bent over the table scribbling on a piece of paper while watching a beaker of clear liquid that sat over the flame of a Bunsen burner. The liquid had just begun to bubble slightly when she grabbed him by the shoulder, pulled him in close and interrupted him with a brief question, "What ever are you doing?"

Smiling at her he rose to his full height, shaking what she could now tell was a copy of the Times. "Yesterday's Jumble and making a cup of tea!" he answered beaming. Without thinking he grabbed the hot beaker. He squirmed uncomfortably biting his lower lip as he placed it on the table before throwing two bags of tea into it. As he waited for the bags to steep he danced in place blowing on his fingers. Clara stared on in amazement chuckling at what she had just witnessed.

"That probably didn't feel very good," she taunted the Doctor playfully. He scowled in her direction. "Kate was surprised you were interested in having Bessie. She mentioned it'll be ready and waiting for you. Should you need her."


	3. Chapter 3

The Doctor had spent nearly an hour pacing around the laboratory. Occasionally he would mumble to himself before returning to his winding route amongst the tables and chairs.

Clara sat at one of the numerous tables in the room sipping on a steaming cup of hot chocolate. She had sat fairly quietly, though her angst and anticipation was growing.

"Doctor, what are we doing here?" she started, "You promised me spiders and blue crystals and the other wonders of Metebelis III…"

"Once we solve this problem I promise you we'll make our way to blue moon lit shores of Metebelis!"

Clara shrugged sipping from her mug, "I'm going to hold you to that."

The large white doors to the room swung open, and Kate led several of the scientists back in. The Doctor stopped his pacing.

"We've had another one," Kate said tersely extending a manila folder toward the Doctor. He stared blankly at the folder for a moment. "Right in the middle of London during rush hour. It was caught on a security camera; we were on scene in less than four minutes."

"It'd be great if you had any idea for where we should start this investigation," she continued, trying to coax him into taking the document.

"Well that's not very good," the Doctor responded straightening his tie, "where were they? Any connections to the previous events?"

"We really don't know much at this point…" Kate trailed off, awkwardly fiddling with the folder.

Clara rose from her seat, walking toward the Doctor, "It's a shame we couldn't just track him down, and ask him for ourselves."

The Doctor clapped his hands, squealing slightly in excitement. "Clara! You're a genius! Say that again!" He grabbed the girl by the shoulders before giving her a giant hug. The surprise on Clara's face at the unexpected gesture was unmistakable.

"It's, uh, it's," she stammered trying to regain her composure from the surprise of being embraced, "a shame we just can't just track him down and ask him." She squirmed slightly in discomfort. Kate cleared her throat.

"Don't you see," the Doctor shouted spinning around toward the group, "Zed Radiation! We can find and follow the man! Wherever he went!" The Doctor grinned from ear to ear.

"Zed Radiation?" one of the scientists inquired. "I'm sorry Doctor, but I think you're mistaken. There isn't such a thing as, as Zed Radiation." his inflection increasing as he finished.

"Don't be silly," the Doctor cautioned patting the young man on the shoulder, "You have Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Philet, Neutrino, and Zed Radiations." Each of the researchers looked as clueless as the next, entirely unsure what the Doctor was talking about.

The Doctor scanned the empty faces of the scientists. He sighed in frustration, shaking his head before mumbling to himself, "That's right, this is only the year 2016… Zed Radiation won't be discovered for another four hundred years or so, right after Gummy Bear flavored mouth wash… What a wonderful human achievement that turns out to be.

"It's like the story of Hansel and Gretel," the Doctor continued, his arms flailing wildly as he spoke, "We follow the trail of radiation to its end." The Doctor stopped for a moment in thought. "Hopefully we don't get eaten by a wicked witch," he mused.

"Anyway, back on topic! It was theorized, and would later be proven in the year 5783, that every time there is a quantum teleportation – random or otherwise – there is a significant discharge of rare Zed Radiation."

"And that's good," Clara asked somewhat excitedly, "we can track the Zed Radiation?"

"Well… More or less," the Doctor replied coyly. "In reality the radiation is in fact entangled with the person or object which teleported!" He chuckled softly at his own brilliance.

He slid his thumbs behind his suspenders, pulling them away from his chest before releasing them. The loud smacking sound filled the room as the Doctor jumped slightly in pain, grabbing his chest as he hopped around. Clara giggled at the sight, while Kate managed to catch herself before losing her air of professionalism.

"I need the TARDIS and a small amount of DNA from the man," the Doctor said wincing in pain as he rubbed his chest.

"We'll get the DNA from his house. Would a toothbrush work?" Kate responded.

The Doctor nodded.

"Good! Then we'll have you airlifted to where you need to go in order to get to the TARDIS," Kate offered enthusiastically.

The Doctor shook his head, "No, no, that won't be necessary. I think we'll take good ol' Bessie." He smiled his usual excited grin, pushing past Kate and making his way toward the door with a skip.

Bessie sat in pristine condition in front of the rather normal looking office complex. The brilliant canary yellow roadster had been polished to a shine, and the top had been folded down revealing the soft, black, conditioned leather bench seats. The Doctor took a few moments to walk around the vehicle, admiring its condition and reminiscing in the many adventures they'd shared together. He knelt next to the car, running his hand over one of the yellow spoked tires.

"It's been a while old girl. You think you have one more adventure in you?" he whispered softly.

Clara knelt next to him, "Do you actually even know how to drive this thing?" She didn't even attempt to hide her skepticism.

"Drive her!" the Doctor exclaimed, a wild passion burning in his eyes, "I practically built her from scratch! It took a few days in the U.N.I.T. garage, but I fixed her up. And look at her now! As beautiful as ever." He jumped to his feet climbing into the driver's seat.

He wiggled and squirmed in excitement as he waited for Clara to join him, both his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly. Clara couldn't recall the last time she had seen the Doctor look so happy.

She carefully climbed into the passenger seat, searching in vain for some form of safety restraint. There wasn't one to be found, and there was a hint of terror in her expression, though she hid it well.

"Could you please hand me everything in the glove box," the Doctor asked, motioning toward the small compartment.

Clara opened the box withdrawing several items and handing them, one-by-one to the Doctor – a pair of white driving gloves, a scarf, a driving cap, and a pair of antiquated driving goggles.

The Doctor carefully positioned each item as Clara passed them to him. Sliding the goggles over his hat he snapped them firmly in place. With a final tug at his gloves he smiled at the girl before starting the car. It rumbled and shook before settling into a comfortable rhythm.

"You look ridiculous," Clara laughed looking the Doctor over. He ignored the statement, continuing to beam in excitement.

"Welp… Let's see what she's still got left in her!" the Doctor cooed excitedly in response.

The car lurched forward violently down the lane. The Doctor reached forward squeezing a small red ball. The honking of the classic horn made the man giggle, much like a child did when given a new toy. "See, just like riding a bicycle!" the Doctor called out.

Kate stood watching the duo disappear down the street. She couldn't help but shake her head. "Just as my father described," she uttered under her breath before making her way back into the building.


	4. Chapter 4

The Doctor and Clara sat waiting at one of the many traffic signals they had encountered. It was clear that the man was rather annoyed with their progress so far, as he sat yelling for the signal to change.

"What do you say we give the ol' minimum inertia hyperdrive a test?" the Doctor mused before the light changed.

"The what? What's it do?" Clara asked, becoming more curious about what the car was capable of.

"I'll show you," the Doctor said with a wink, "I designed it myself! Traffic was always a bore…" The light changed, and the Doctor pulled an indiscrete lever. "Hold on!"

The car sprung forward quickly, gaining speed and flying through intersections and past cars. Clara couldn't contain herself, squealing with laughter at each turn. At their present speed it wasn't long before the TARDIS came into view.

The large blue box was rapidly approaching though, the Doctor showed no signs of slowing or stopping. "Doctor! Doctor!" Clara tried to warn, pointing toward the ever-growing machine. The Doctor nodded, recognizing where they were headed.

Finally just before reaching the TARDIS the Doctor flipped yet another switch and disconnected the lever. The car came to an immediate stop, yet both Clara and the Doctor remained seated comfortably, their weight never shifting forward with the stop.

"You see," the Doctor explained, pulling his goggles off, "The minimum inertia hyperdrive allows us to travel at extraordinary speeds, relative to automotive travel anyway, but it also allows us to stop practically instantaneously without our inertia throwing us through the windscreen. Brilliant isn't it?!"

He hopped out of the car, laying his different pieces of driving attire on the seat. Snatching the keys out of the ignition he snapped his fingers and the doors to the TARDIS flung open.

It was then that the whooshing of helicopter blades filled the air and a large military copter swooped down from above. It hovered just above the ground, and a man in a fitted suit stepped out. He carried a small briefcase, which he handed to the Doctor.

"Thank you," the Doctor gestured with the case. The man simply smiled, gave a slight nod, and returned to the still hovering craft without so much as a word. Once he was securely back abroad, the engines roared and the large vehicle rose back into the sky and toward the center of London.

Once inside the TARDIS The Doctor and Clara readied for their adventure. The case contained two sealed vials neatly and safely tucked into a bed of foam. One was labeled as 'Toothbrush' and the second as 'Hair Comb'. The Doctor carefully removed one of the tubes and slid it into a slot in the console.

"Right, that should do it," he said popping his head around the console to check in with Clara, "ready?"

"As always," she beamed.

With the flick of a few switches and the turning of a dial the TARDIS began to moan and shake as it took off. Both Clara and the Doctor were thrown around the control room. They each laughed and smiled as they bounced around, clutching at the control console as they hurled through space and time.

When the ship finally landed both Clara and the Doctor checked the monitor to try and determine where they were.

"That can't be right," the Doctor thought out loud.

"Why? What is it?" Clara pressed.

"We're in space," he responded checking several of the other settings on the dashboard, "we're smack dab in the middle of space. No planets, no stars, no weird anomalies. Nothing…" The Doctor rushed toward the TARDIS doors to peek his head outside for a moment.

Cautiously he opened the door sticking his head through the narrow opening. Quickly he closed the door before calling back to Clara as he made his way toward the controls, "It's a ship! We're on a ship! Why isn't it showing up on my equipment?!" He adjusted several dials before checking his screen.

"They're blocking our equipment. They don't want anyone to know they're here" he thought out loud.

"Why don't they want us to know?" Clara asked leaning against the TARDIS console.

"Great question! Let's go ask!" the Doctor took off for the doors; flinging them open and stepping out dramatically. Clara followed him closely, tucking herself behind cautiously behind him.

The pair found themselves in a relatively high-tech ship. Multiple lights flashed on different control panels, while the engines hummed causing the floors to vibrate slightly. Large metal grates covered the floors, and pipes ran across the ceilings.

"Well that was disappointing," the Doctor said, still holding his pose. "no one's here. I guess we might as well have a look around, what'd you think?" He glanced at Clara, straightening himself.

He pulled his sonic screwdriver from his pocket and began to scan the room, focusing his attention on the control panels. It took only a moment before the scan was complete and he flicked his wrist to inspect the results.

"No, no, that can be right," he uttered under his breath before attempting the scan again. Once more the Doctor was dissatisfied with the results.

"What is it?" Clara pushed.

"It doesn't seem the sonic can identify the technology onboard this ship…" his sentence was cut short as several alarms sounded. The lights on the control panels began to flash red in warning.

The groan of the TARDIS quickly joined the blaring alarm, and the large blue box began to disappear. Both the Doctor and Clara rushed toward their ship, arriving where it stood just as it vanished.

"Not again Doctor?!" Clara shouted, "I thought you said that you were going to shut down the HADS system!"

"Yes… About that…" the Doctor hesitated, "I may have actually just reprogramed her to disappear into the vortex to be recalled once the danger has passed."

Multiple doors into the control room flung open and several creatures entered. It was clear that they were either soldiers or a security detachment. Each carried a gun and pointed it toward the two intruders. The Doctor and Clara immediately raised their hands in surrender, realizing they were surrounded.

The soldiers walked upright and were covered in a rather advanced form or armor, though it failed to hide their extremely muscular build. The armor itself, though clearly technically advanced, was somewhat brutish in appearance with tangles of spikes bunched around the elbows, knees, and down back. Each of the creatures had a set six horns that protruded from their helmets and curled toward the back of their heads. They violently grunted commands toward one another as they took their positions around the control room.

"Well hello chaps!" the Doctor said in his most charming tone, "fancy bumping into you all here. We were just passing through, didn't mean to cause any sort of ruckus!"

The creatures stood unflinching and stoic. "What, who are they Doctor?" Clara whispered.

"I have no idea," he responded out the side of his mouth, never breaking eye contact with the soldiers. "Never seen them before in my life. Hopefully the TARDIS translation circuit kicks in soon."

The line of guards split in two and another entered. Rather than carry a weapon he held in his clawed hand a large glass staff inside which a fire burned wildly, its intense red orange light radiating out. He didn't wear the clothes of a soldier, but rather long flowing robes of black decorated with red. He didn't wear a helmet, and this was the first opportunity for the Doctor to see the features of this unrecognizable species.

Their skin was a deep green; their pulsing veins, which started at the neck and made their way through their muscular extremities, glowed orange – like that of hot volcanic magma. Their eyes blazed like fire, or a brilliant evening sunset. They had sharp fanged teeth that protruded from their mouths, even when closed.

The creature grunted and roared at the commander of the soldiers who responded in kind. The Doctor no longer smiled, and sensed that they were in grave danger. Clara remained tucked behind him.

_Why hasn't the translation circuit kicked in yet? _the Doctor wondered to himself scanning the room with his eyes, trying to conceive of a way out of their present situation.

Slowly the creatures' grunts and roars began to turn into words. It began with one word here and there. Before long though it was understandable, still the occasional brutish grunt remained unknown and slipped passed the translation circuit.

"Who ordered this pair taken aboard," the leader demanded of his commander.

"Sir, we had not finished with our previous capture. None of the staff were at the controls. We are uncertain how they came aboard."

"Have the Quantum Interceptor checked. We don't need a malfunction at this time."

The Doctor took a step forward. Each of the guards primed their weapon, refocusing their aim on him. "Excuse me," he began, "but I was just wondering…" The commander of the soldiers cut him off abruptly.

"You insolent fool! You are not to speak unless directed to!" his deep baritone voice echoed throughout the room.

The robed leader stepped forward. For a moment he inspected the Doctor then spoke, "I am Surtr, Grand Chancellor and Protector of the Narok ordained and anointed by the High Council of Múspell. This is Galactic Marshal Hyrmth, commander of the forces of Narok, lead of the children of Múspell," Surtr motioned toward his colleague, "now, who are you, and why are you aboard my vessel? And perhaps more importantly, how is it you, a weak and feeble Earthling, have mastered the tongue of the ancient gods of our brethren?"

"Trust me, the pleasure is all mine," the Doctor began, extending one of his raised hands forward in greeting. Again the soldiers snapped to attention, and the commander grunted loudly. The Doctor quickly realized he had made a mistake and jerked his hand back above his head.

"I'm, uh… I'm the Doctor, and this is my companion Clara," he managed to say despite having been startled. "We're just travelers in space, and it happened we got stranded here aboard your ship." He chuckled nervously.

Surtr nodded, though it was clear he didn't believe the Doctor. "Search them, and then take them to join the others," he barked at Hyrmth before exiting the room.

The soldiers searched their two new prisoners, confiscating the Doctor's sonic screwdriver and a small wallet size leather bound bi-fold before leading them through the ship and into a large prison like holding bay. There were several other people huddled around in small groups within the main cell.

There were fourteen people in the cell, all adults and a fairly even ratio of women to men. The prisoners ranged in age from mid-twenties to late sixties. The hierarchy of the group was clear and based upon the amount of time that had been spent in the custody of the Naroks.

The Doctor introduced himself to their fellow cellmates before explaining their current situation. He assured them that U.N.I.T. was doing everything in their power to ensure the safe return of everyone to Earth. And though he didn't believe it personally he was able to instill a sense of hope and confidence back into the group.

"Why did they take us?" an older woman inquired, "we're all just ordinary people."

"How do you know you're 'just ordinary'," the Doctor interrupted.

"Some of us have been here for weeks. We've had the time to talk – to try and figure out what we have in common. But so far we're all fairly 'normal'."

"You humans… Always bringing yourselves down. Have you ever heard of Donna Noble," he gestured around the room. He was met with blank stares.

"No, no of course you haven't. Well Donna was 'the fastest temp in Chiswick, one hundred words per minute'," he did his best to mimic her tone, raising his hands to mime her typing, "anyway, she, just like you, thought she was 'normal'. It turns out she was the most important woman in the universe." He paused letting that sink into the other prisoners.

"There's something about you all that the Naroks are interested in. We just need to try and figure that out. Then we'll escape, recall the TARDIS, save humanity and the world, and have a nice hot cup of tea. What'd you say?" He smiled, trying to instill confidence into the group.

"Doctor," Clara interjected, "Who are the Naroks? Why couldn't the equipment initially identify their ship or language?"

"They're a myth, a legend. The universe's tale of God-like warriors," the Doctor began to pace around the cell. "They shouldn't exist. They've never been seen, nor contacted. Their planet, Múspell, is the Atlantis of the old times, of the ancient universe. Its been searched for by countless civilizations for millennia, never to have been found."

"But if they're a myth, then… How are they here? Unless… They're not a myth and they've been hiding all this time," Clara reasoned out loud.

"Exactly," the Doctor snapped his fingers pointing in her direction.


	5. Chapter 5

The Doctor paced around the large cell thinking out loud. It was clear from his tone that he was both concerned and frustrated. Occasionally he would stop and mutter something under his breath only to immediately dismiss the theory and start anew.

"Tell me again what have the Naroks done with you all since you arrived."

"Nothing like you read about in the tabloids – no probes or dissection or things up your bum," an elderly gentlemen replied, "We've all simply been scanned. Multiple times actually."

"Scan you? How do they scan you? What do they scan?"

"Its actually rather pleasant to be honest. We're placed in a room and a laser passes over us. It doesn't take long, five minutes at the most."

The Doctor rubbed his chin in thought, "Did they have you watch or listen to anything while scanning you?" Everyone glanced around the room before shrugging and shaking their heads.

"Noises? What about noises? What does the process sound like?" the Doctor pried.

Before anyone could answer the door to the cell flung open and two guards entered. They snarled and demanded the Doctor come with them. He happily agreed, attempting to instill confidence in the group.

The guards escorted the Doctor through a maze of halls before finally arriving a scientific chamber. Several scientists had gathered in the chamber, preparing equipment and readying experiments. Unlike the brutish guards the scientists were far more pleasant in their interactions.

"I'm Fjirgd, Chief Research Scientist and Scientific Liaison for the Galactic Fleet of Múspell," one of the researchers said in extremely broken and forced English, extending his hand in what he thought was the appropriate Earth greeting.

The Doctor simply stared at the Narok's extended hand before ignoring the gesture, pushing his way further into the room. "What are you doing here Fjirgd?" he asked.

The scientist recoiled in surprise and terror at the Doctor's perfect Narokian.

"Well come on? What are you doing here? Why are you scanning this species?"

"How? How are you able to speak the language of our ancestral fathers?" Fjirgd asked in astonishment. The Doctor stared cold and unflinching; waiting for his answer.

Fjirgd contemplated his answer for a moment; he wanted to choose his words carefully. "We only seek to learn," he finally replied, "as a scientist there is no greater fulfillment than expanding the registers of knowledge."

"Yes," the Doctor responded skeptically, "and how are you collecting this 'new' knowledge?" He ran his hands over one of the many consoles before being pulled away from the instrument.

"Just a simple scan. We map and track the Earthlings' brain waves. We're able to quickly gather information, facts, and history about their species without harming them in any way." Fjirgd smiled in an effort to ease the Doctor's mind.

"Show me the process. Scan me."

Fjirgd nodded enthusiastically, "Precisely the reason we've brought you down!" The scientist escorted the Doctor to a large empty room. The walls had been painted white, and there was a large grid laid out in black on the floor. The Doctor was placed squarely in the middle of the room and told to remain still.

Meanwhile on the bridge of the ship Surtr paced madly while Hyrmth sat undisturbed in his chair, his legs cockily propped up atop a control console. "We've gone to extreme lengths to hide our civilization and planet from the hordes of the universe, yet this 'Doctor' speaks perfect Narok. How does this not bother you?"

"He's weak," Hyrmth snarled, "and the Earth's race is primitive. They are of no concern to us."

"Perhaps… Or they competent at hiding it," Surtr mused grabbing the tool and leather bi-fold they had confiscated from the Doctor and inspected it. "What do you make of what we confiscated?" he tossed the sonic to Hyrmth.

"Tis but a toy, nothing to be concerned with," he threw the implement back, "Our scans have revealed that the planet does not have any sort of advanced technology. That said, I'm getting annoyed with these continual delays Chancellor. We cannot wait much longer. I request my men be given permission to begin preparations."

"In time," Surtr waved the notion aside inspecting the two items further before placing them in his pocket, "We're not to rush such plans."

The Doctor's scan didn't take very long, and the researchers had pulled him from the chamber. He was handed over to the guards who proceeded to escort him back to the holding cell.

"Well thank you for the pleasant stroll boys," the Doctor called to the guards as they exited the holding bay, the large.

He rubbed his head in pain. "Are you ok Doctor," Clara asked in concern.

"Yes, yes…" he replied, "Its just a whale of a headache. Which reminds me…. Why didn't any of you tell me the scan had such a brutal side effect?"

The group appeared confused, each person looking to the next. The Doctor was quick to notice their reaction and he quickly began spinning in the center of the room.

"That's it!" He shouted, " how could I have not pieced it all together?" He smiled broadly at his epiphany.

"What is it Doctor?" Clara asked excitedly.

"What is it?! It's as plain as the nose on your face!" he shouted excitedly at his realization. Clara immediately found herself examining her nose with her hands. "No, no, that's not right," he continued, grabbing her hands, "really to be more accurate its as plain as the nose on my face!"

"Well that's comforting," she pulled her hands away, striking the Doctor in the arm, "but you still haven't answered the question. What is it that we had missed?"

"The scans! Its all in the scans! You see, the Naroks are scanning brain activity. Specifically they're looking for of Sigma N-13 Kappa activity - a very specialized and unique brain wave. You humans are full of such brain activity, but we Time Lords… We don't these kinds of waves; we evolved beyond that brain state thousands of years ago. Primitive really. Explains so much."

"Doctor!" Clara interrupted clearly annoyed with him.

"Right, yes, sorry! Where was I?" he paused momentarily to collect his thoughts, "these types of scans allow for the instantaneous transference of knowledge, biological or species identification, genetic makeup, mass hypnosis, or even digital mental cloning of the subject being scanned."

"How does that help us Doctor?" Clara asked, "we'll still need to figure out what they're trying to accomplish!"

"Yes… Devilish little problem isn't it?" he patted her gently on the top of her head, him mind lost in thought.

"Why would the Naroks want mental clones of us?" the elderly woman asked.

The Doctor pointed knowingly at the woman, smiling, "We'll just have to ask them!" He looked toward the sealed entrance before continuing, "I'm sure they'll be here any minute now."

Across the ship in the data lab Fjirgd frantically tried to make sense of the reading from the Doctor's scan. What normally yielding millions of pieces of individual data points had managed to capture nothing. The system had entirely failed in its purpose.

"Are you sure the equipment is functional?" he asked one of his aides for the second time.

"Yes sir. Entirely."

The bridge's communications interface flashed orange and the audio alert sounded. Hyrmth activated a large video monitor.

"What is it this time?" he barked.

"We scanned the new prisoner, the Doctor. His results produced nothing. There was no trace of the required brain activity."

"Contact Surtr. Have him meet me in the brig immediately. We will interrogate the prisoner. The mission cannot be compromised!" he cut the communication channel before angrily reaching for his weapon and stomping out off the bridge.

The doors to the detention facility swung open and several guards entered, training their weapons on the inhabitants of the main holding cell. Hyrmth and Surtr followed closely. Fjirgd entered last carrying a Triad Quark Handheld Scanner.

"You're late," the Doctor taunted from the cell, "We've been expecting you for awhile now."

"Silence!" Hyrmth unsheathed a weapon and took a step closer to the cell. Surtr grabbed him by the shoulder and stopped him.

"It seems I was right to worry about you Doctor," he started, "to start, you speak our language perfectly, and now its brought to my attention that, despite your appearance, you aren't actually an Earthling." The leader inspected the fire in his staff for a moment. "Would you care to explain?"

"Well, as I said when your guards first took us captive we're just two travelers to happened to get dropped aboard…"

"Impossible!" Surtr interrupted, "Lie to me and I'll have you killed here and now in front of everyone!"

"If you'd like my credentials you took them from me earlier. If you would be as kind as to fetch it you'll see I am…" Clare nudged him with her elbow, "er, we are merely travelers through space. Hitchhikers if you will."

Surtr pulled the sonic and bi-fold from his pocket. The Doctor tried to hide his excitement. The leader inspected the bi-fold closely. He nodded, though there was an air of skepticism about him.

"Doctor, this all seems in order…" he paused, "other than that it is in Narok which itself is impossible. Answer me, and but beware, how do you speak and understand our language? Additionally how is this document written in the native tongue of the Gods of the universe?"

"Well… Um… You see this pass, just like my companion and I," he wrapped his arm around Clara, "is tied into a multi-dimensional quasi-transmatic neural translation system. It is automatically translated into the language of the reader. As for our speech it is automatically translated for the listener."

Surtr glanced toward his scientific adviser who shrugged, "theoretically possible."

"And this?" Surtr asked brandishing the sonic screwdriver.

"Merely a means for us to ensure that wherever we end up is capable of sustaining our survival. Death would be so uncomfortable, and surprisingly easy to accomplish."

Again Surtr glanced toward Fjirgd who nodded his understanding and agreement. Turning once more to the Doctor he continued, "Explain to me how it functions. I'd like to see for myself."

The Doctor scratched his head for a moment in thought. Explaining the process without giving away the tools primary function wouldn't be easy. He carefully explained the process, walking Surtr through each step to demonstrate its function. He choose his words carefully and precisely so as to avoid potentially triggering other of the tool's functions.

"Scan him," Surtr instructed. Fjirgd took a few steps toward the Doctor.

Suddenly the ship shook violently, as warning alarms blared. The entire room lurched causing everyone to be forcefully thrown to the floor. The sonic screwdriver clattered about the compartment before sliding into the cell. The Doctor snatched it quickly concealing it in his pocket.

The group of Naroks scampered to their feet trying to determine what was happening. Hyrmth barked orders to his guards ordering them to take their battle positions around the ship.

Surtr established a communication channel with the bridge trying to assess their current situation. The Naroks were overcome with confusion and scurried from the room branching out in each of the different passageways.


End file.
